Tell it like it is!

The other morning I was sitting at the table with Deagan and Steve. We were all having breakfast together. Deagan randomly says, "All the everybodys love me!" :) I had to smile and tell him, "yes, everybody loves you buddy!" I really do love him. He can be SO sweet and has such a soft heart. He just melts me.

Later that night at Family Home Evening Brinkley brought up a few things she has been learning. She was talking about Jesus and the holes in his hand. Then she says, "you can see the holes on the big white Jesus and hear him talk when the lady pushes the magic button behind the hidden wall!" WOW! What a memory! The last time we saw the statue of Jesus was about a year ago - the way she remembers things sometimes just cracks me up! Thru the eyes of a 4 year old, right? :)

Her ability to retain information amazes me - she'll bring up things in great detail that happened when she was 2 and 3 - I can't believe the memory. And she must be loving the lessons in Sunbeams cause she can come home and retell us the story without skipping a beat! If we tell a story for FHE and get part wrong (or say it the wrong way) she will quickly correct us and tell us how it really goes! :) WE love you Brinkley, we love your smarts, we love your personality, we love your desire to read scriptures and your love for Jesus. You are absolutly adorable!

One of those days

I am having one of those days. You know, the kind that makes you wish your best friend lived around the corner so you could just go talk, cry, etc. The kind that makes you want to drop your kids of at a sitters house. The kind where you'd give your left arm to be sitting on a beach...alone...doing whatever you want. The kind where you'd love to just curl up in bed with a good tear-jerker of a movie, a box of tissues, and a soft blanket.

Tonight is Wednesday and that means it's my night out. I couldn't be more thankful for that. I have decided to not even make dinner before I go this time. Just going. (Steve and I have a deal where we both get a night out and away from the home each week to keep our sanity - it's the best deal ever!) I love my kids to death, but I really need a break.

I think this diet has gotten me from grumpy to depressed now. Sad thing is it's only the 3rd day! I am just so low on energy. A brownie with chocolate frosting sounds like a heavenly fix. You know what really has me down? Knowing that I have to pass on all goodies from now on. It actually makes me feel sad. Steve says to have one day a week where I can eat whatever I want, but that just isn't going to work for me. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl. One day a week will just make all the other days that much harder. I have been told that you eventually hit a point that you'll stop wanting the sweets and to have them actually makes you feel sick. I would LOVE to be sick from eating sweets! That's when I'll know I've done something right. Is it crazy of me to not want to put another piece of sugar into my mouth until I've met my goal weight?

My BIG FAT project

At the start of this year I made quite a few new years resolutions - MOST of which I have stayed on top of so far. Probably one of the most important to me was to shed all my extra pounds I have - and believe me, there are MANY! This comes from someone who is normally about 125lbs. and would be THRILLED to be at 130-135. That's the goal. So I decided as of March first, I will change a few things and get this bod back in shape. I'm afraid progress will be slow, but we'll see. I need to take a "before" photo but I don't think you could pay me enough $$ to post it. Maybe when I am back to a smaller size.

As completely embarrassing as this is, I will post my weigh ins and "such." I hope it gives me the push I need to some day be able to post I have met my goal weight.

March 1, 2010
weight 160
I have gone 2 days without candy and I think I'm going to kill someone. I am tired (probably from a lack of food) and cranky. I usually eat TONS of candy - any hour of any day. My goal is to stay away from sweets completely. I also have a goal to stay away from chips, fast food, baked goodies, and to limit my breads/crackers. So basically I have taken away my whole life support. :(

Brinkley - Feb. 2010

I got to have a little fun with Brie the other day. She asked if I would take her photos and I of course told her yes! She was such a little ham - being so silly. I got some really cute faces. I thought I would post just a few of her more normal ones. Love you Brie! You're a doll!